Thursday, July 31, 2014

Day One of ArcheAge Closed Beta 2

Been able to spend some time in ArcheAge and managed to successfully stifle most of the yawns. Naturally I started by stripping my Adult-race (Nui?) character to see what sort of assets I'm working with.


Needless to say I was disappointed. Great bis/tris with decent pecs atop fairly well-defined abs that suddenly taper into nothing. While Asians stereo-typically don't bulge all that much I found this utter lack disturbing. Genital stealth aside the riveted, square-cut briefs are quite strong and able to support a typical sword/dagger combo with little trouble.

The nethers-hole criticism may be unfair since I was really impressed with how effeminate and adorable the males were in Final Fantasy XIV. Some part of me had assumed that was a standard for Asian MMOs and was bemoaning the fact that I've only played Western MMOs. Dammit. Still… I'm hoping that the Undergarments slot will help somewhere down the road.


There are lots of global channels full of amusing commentary which help keep one awake. I often contributed with bold statements like "This is FarmVille© China®" or outrageous claims, such as "I got my money's worth since I haven't paid anything for this shit." Of course such humor was lost amidst comments stating "The romance in the story line is better than Twilight" or pleas for help "Where I grow horse?"

The story has been almost coherent after the translation. Have to admit I even got caught up in some of the subtlety they threw in. Such as Masden here.


Masden is obviously concerned for his would-be lover's mental state seeing as the HORSE'S ASS IN HIS FACE doesn't even phase him. Apparently he feels threatened by the other woman, Sloane. Masden is eager for me to take Sloane's ring away so Malcolm can "relax" in Masden's home.

Unfortunately I had to kill Malcolm. Thankfully I didn't have to face Masden's amorous wrath since Village Elder Humphrey saw Malcolm attack me first. The Elder wrote me up a letter explaining everything so I could go tell Malcolm's foster mother that, although I slaughtered her foster son, it was only in self-defense. She'll be giving me 1170xp, 2sp 9cp, and a Gilda Star for doing this.

So yeah. Questing is the standard, hub-based shit. The usual kill 'X' sewer rats then "Oh, take this paper to my boss in the next town." bread crumbs. They have done a good job getting me familiar with the game though. Introducing combat, magic, skills, etc. There have been a few quests that allow extra kills to earn you extra rewards. Quests can also be turned in early for lesser reward. There are also some hidden kill or collect quests. But meh. Hackneyed and typical.

The rewards showcase the F2P experience. After my "hard work" I'm given unidentified gifts that I need to spend "Labor Points" to identify. Once identified the items can be used or sold.

Not sure how Labor Points work entirely yet. Chat tells me that I get some every five minutes that I'm online. But if I'm a Patron they are also earned while offline. Also, as a free player I can only have up to 2000 LPs while a Patron can have 5000. LPs are going to be key as they're used in gathering, crafting, growing, etc. The F2P pressures are real.

Still not completely sure how all the growing works. I did the introduction quests for the Blue Salt Brotherhood and ultimately earned a Scarecrow Garden Design. Trade Master Edward sent me off to pick-a-plot and get-to-grow'in. Unfortunately Edward forgot to check my F2P status. Finding a nice chunk of dirt and trying to Scarecrow it up resulted in an unseemly ERROR MESSAGE informing me land is only claimable by Patrons.

Not having much access to raw materials I also am unsure how crafting works. It seems pretty easy to find the crafting stations as they have fantasy-theme BLUE LASER BEAMS that draw your attention.


Apparently there are also special regional crafting stations that can produce exotic goods that are in high demand in far-off lands (where the Kitty and Child races are, most likely). Can see the draw since it would be killer fun to place raw lumber and watch the BLUE LASER BEAMS transform them into Bizzle Charm Rice Lamps with 50 or so Labor Points.

The horses seem to work okay. They have their own XP and gain a few things when they level. Now that my Gray Lilyut Horse is level 11 she allows me to make a mounted attack. At level 25 things get serious with a charge. Horses also have three gear slots and I already received Shabby Pet Legguards that grant +5% movement.



Upon leaving the ranch with my freshly grown mount I was naturally rather excited. Riding bareback I think the animal sensed this (impressive given my limited genitalia). I was INNOCENTLY checking out the rear equipment and placed a steadying hand on the animal's rump. Let's just say the horse got more than a little nervous. I'm not sure what kind of or how much attention mounts are given in this land, but I recommend careful concern when riding one. At least until you have a saddle.

As skittish as the horse was at least you could steer it. Around level 7 I was given a rowboat to run a FedEx quest. All you can do is move it forward and backward! Oh, and there's a little paper lantern you can turn off and on. Useless! I was so frustrated I didn't even take a screenshot. What I ended up doing was dismounting then facing 90° off the quest indicator. I could then summon the boat and it would be aimed correctly. Maybe there's a specific keybind for rudder control but it wasn't intuitive. And there was no handy Tutorial window popping up to inform me I was being a dipshit.


As to the class definitions I really like how it's all skill based. Started in Shadowplay since Rogues. Then added Archery to be a pussy and shoot things from afar. And finally level 10 added Battlerage so that once something gets close they would be dyin'. This combo apparently makes me an "Outrider." Really smooth. Also the skills are immediately available based on level. So no taking 3 lame filler abilities to get to the one you want. Must be a nightmare to balance this.

I noticed a few times some sort of event happening. Yet another world where people think that resurrecting really evil dead things is a good idea…


At first I thought, "Oh hey, am I in a Bethseda game?" Then I remembered China's blatant disregard for copyright. Trion is publishing this game in the Capitalist world so maybe they just overlooked the combination of RIFT and a classic Elder Scrolls game. In fact, this reminds me… I wonder if J.K. Rowling would be pissed if she saw their mail system…


Oh well. I'm sure her team of lawyers will handle all that.

So after a day of wandering and sniffing, I'm not terribly impressed. I am a member of social guild that is rabidly excited for release so I'm going to spend more time figuring out what my level of involvement will be. Apparently each race has a different main story so I might try the Child-race (Haranas?). Have to be careful equipping them as I doubt it would be legal to undress them.


Enough stalling. *sigh* Back to the chat involving Panty Raid invites and hairy vaginas…


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